Repeated story.

And I'm  not so sure anymore. My eyes see and my heart doesn't  want to believe.
Why is it that men always betray us?
 Why is it that they crave female validation so much that they are eager to cheat on the person they chose?
If you want to do that  keep your single status and don't  drag anyone else in your mess. Why get someone so invested in you just to tear them down?
Do human beings mean so little to you?
 And don't  use the "I didn't  know any better" excuse on me. If that was done to a person you hold dear you would be out for blood.
 Set them free if you don't  care, just don't  drag them along in this foolish endeavor  of filling your bottomless ego.
Silly boys never grow up and it's  our curse to fall for them.
What is it that you want from me?
Am I just a convenient asset?
A tool to keep the loneliness away?
 Just another rock in your path that shined a little more than the rest?
 Or was I a haste decision?
 No matter what the answer is, all I know is that you spoke some heavy words and I expect you to stand by them.

Be honest, it saves everybody's  time.

Hell

And it's moments like this one, where I find myself in utter silence that I wonder if this is what hell feels like.

The empty feeling in my stomach and how the air seems thicker and harder to breathe.

How things change out of the blue and leave you speechless, stuck in loops of guilt and doubt.

If things ever get better I want to be protected from this pain. This void that consumes me as the days go by is crippling. I can feel the chill in my bones, all my mistakes creeping back into my head forever holding me hostage to an enemy I cannot defeat.