My heart is tired.
My mind is tired.
My soul is tired.
I'm a tangled mess of sorry excuses and fake promises.
Broken over and over again to amuse an audience I'll never see.
What a sick game that is.
All I can do is watch and feel the pain.
I hope you're laughing or that you feel moved.
My act is just about to come to an end.
Sooner or later.
Soon.

promise

Beauty is in my broken little pieces. In the way I  fall apart each night and yet manage to reassemble myself by the first ray of dawn.
I'm a mess, a collectible clutter of ill fiting pieces with high hopes of being whole in the future.
But that day will probably never come, for I'm not a diamond in the rough.
I was glass thought to be bulletproof but that was not the case.
I tried flame and ice to forge me anew and nothing happened, heaven's barred and hell won't have me.
So stay away, away from the mess I call life and you might be free of my curse.
But if you decide against my advice then promise not to complain about my sharp edges.

Him.

You were everything I wasn't.
You were alive and loud and I was growing old and quiet.
We had to part and once more become the strangers we were before our paths crossed.
My love I will miss you but I know you won't.
So here's to you my eternal longing my unending what if.

2017

In a society that shames love I stood there with my heart laid bare.
Out there for everyone to see and hold.
But the onlookers were disgusted by the raw emotion, they got scared of the truth and turned their heads away.
I stood and stook waiting for the few that dared to come close.
I started bleeding from their piercing looks and their hateful words.
And there I stayed one of the last romantics refusing to fall.

Homage

And thus silence became the most deafening sound coming from her mouth.
An empty silence as if she never existed or as if she was a dream that passed.
She no longer had time to linger, to beg.
She left, and the void came right after ready to fill the space she once occupied.

Thirst

And I poured my soul into him, I bled myself dry.
But he was a bottomless well, always wanting more to fill but never giving enough the quench my thirst.

The lion and the lamb.

A dark path on a day like this is the only thing i can go down. Sorrow has taken my soul hostage for a long time, darkness feels like home most days, it's almost like a sickly sweet scent that makes you dizzy but still has you captivated. I stand bare with no fear of what this dark holds for I have been here too long, the light has become a distant memory almost unpleasant now that i think about it.

We are always held between heaven and hell, this transient state renders the soul useless. It's tiring just being with no reason trying for no obvious outcome, hunting, devouring and yet your hunger never being satisfied. The thrill coming and going like currents in the ocean.
I've become one with the lamb and the lion mocks me. It plays in the shadows always there but always unseen.
I'm blind as i run bleeding over the bridge, the bridge that leads to nothing and all.
"I'm yours" I scream and the darkness laughs, did i say this to myself? or to him? the everlooming pressence in my head, the lion, the wolf, the mastermind of this darkness the one who holds the knife and stabs my insides with every wrong move i make. Did he hear? Did he see? Did he sense the slip up? I dare not think what happens if he wins, for he must not come out to play, the rest of the flock is not ready for him yet and nor it will ever be.


                                                                 -He Laughed-

And then there was silence. Cold. Cold. Cold.
"Yours completely" I sing.
I can never forget what he's given me nor forsake it. So I'll stay here in his golden cage because in the end he came out and the sheep have not noticed that one of them has a taste for the hunt.

Dark

She had never felt more alone in the presence of others, empty cold and apathetic.She lost the meaning of who she was, floating in darkness pretending to be alive when all she wanted was to silence her mind and be at peace...
 She closed her eyes wondering what was happening, but she was too tired to dwell anymore.

Ouch?

And he'll break you so gently, you won't even realize what he's done.

Prisoner

I'll always be a prisoner of my mind, it's a horrid place there yes it is. Each corner hides another terror ,another mistake, another trap to make me peer into the dark abyss; The dark abyss that was once created by unrequited longing, by falling off of clouds and by believing in others too much... But what can i do? There is no escaping my mind.