Memory

I have forgotten.
I can't  recall if I was ever able to trust those around me.
Fickle little thing always seems to escape my grasp.
When was the last time I felt genuinely  happy?
When was the last time I let myself be devoured without second thought.
We all deserve to be adored, to be loved for who we are and who we try to be.
I guess not I.
I try and try but love eludes me.
Maybe it's  not ment to be.
Maybe the paths I cross are always there to punish me for sins in previous lives.
I wish I knew for what I'm  being punished, why I have to hurt each time I give myself away.
I have forgotten his touch, his love , his companionship.
I have forgotten.

Longing

I miss what used to be.
But most of all I miss "him".

Hollow

And I loved him until my heart ached.
The feeling within my bones lingers still.
Faint like my hope looking for something to hold onto.
I've  never been this tired before, my eyes refuse to shed the emotions they hide and my chest is crushed with neverending  sadness.
Even sleeping is hard these days, i try but i can get no rest, I'm  always half awake hoping.
I can't  cope with this anymore

Breathe

I fell silent. For the first time I had no strength left to speak, to complain, to explain.
My soul was touched by ice, I was indefferent and it was as if my being aged in one night.
I forgot how it was to be alive, the flow of joy within my bones.
My skin felt as if it had been liked by electricity, my fingertips trembled and I could have sworn I saw sparks fly.
Why again? Why me? Why now?
The air is thick and my judgment clouded.